Break a leg.. literally

Well I went and broke my leg lol. At roller derby practice. Lol wasn't I just talking about people getting hurt? Argh, another injury added to my list!! I swear, I'm accident prone. :) It was just a normal Wednesday night practice and we were doing cutting drills around the cones, everything casual and mellow, fun.. I wasn't even going that fast but I lost my footing when I cut to the right (my bad side apparently) and my skate went one way and my leg went the other way, the very wrong way. I didn't have a chance to even try to fall foward when CRUNCH!!! both bones broken. My leg went completely limp and I felt the bones crunching/rattling around. I instantly knew, and the first words out of my mouth were cuss words and "I''m so FUCKING pissed!" I mean really, how many YEARS of rollerblading have I done without incident, and here I go and break my leg within a few months of starting derby. ARGH! It's been so frustrating. Anyways, so I'm laying there completely in shock and busy just mouthing off how pissed I am, and I guess I'm bleeding! So Katie comes over and applies pressure to my wound, which apparently she popped my bone back in place which was sticking out of my skin. So the paramedics come and start messing with my leg, moving it all over & introducing me to an entirely new definition of pain, and they think it isn't broken because I'm not screaming and crying and freaking out lol. They even announced to everyone at the rink that it probably wasn't broken! Which made everyone start cheering!! Are you fucking kidding me?? Finally I asked them WHY THEY KEEP MOVING MY LEG AROUND so they stop and put me in a splint, and send me on my merry way. While in transport I heard the guy call KU and tell them I have a compound fracture, so I guess they finally figured it out. My god they were such idiots. So I arrive at KU and have another horrible experience with the xray tech on duty that night. She was in a huge hurry for some reason, and the RN told her she would help her out in a minute but she didn't want to wait and just grabbed my leg and pretty much manhandled it just like the paramedics did. She wouldn't even try to be careful or go slow or anything. So I'm screaming and crying which makes the tech even more frustrated. Then at one point she has a hold of my toe and her hand slips, and my foot just drops back limp on the table. I HOWLED in pain, that hurt SO BAD omg unlike anything I have ever felt before! Well needless to say she does all this in front of the RN that told her to wait, so the RN wrote her up! The RN came back to me later alone and told me she couldn't believe the tech did that, and that she wrote up a PSN on her.. patient safety report. I gave her a hug, because that was such an awful thing to experience, and I was so grateful that the nurse did that. She was so nice. I seriously hope that tech got in trouble.

So the Xrays come back & I do indeed have a broken leg! Tib & fib fracture. Fib fracture up by my knee and tib spiral fracture down by my ankle. Since it was a compound fracture my risk of infection was high, so they decided to do surgery right away. Which was pretty much "right now". Within an hour or so I was in the operating room getting a sweet metal rod put in that goes all the way from my knee to ankle, along with four screws. I'll post pics on here. They left the fib fracture alone. Apparently you only use 6% of your fibia to walk on, the rest is the tibula, so doc said even if it doesn't heal he wasn't worried about it. That's kind of freaky to me to have a permanent broken leg to walk on.. but he's the ortho, I'm not!! Hopefully it will heal. I find out in 2 weeks when I get follow up xrays how I'm healing. I hope to be off these crutches in 2 weeks too. Doc said I'm doing great so I'm hoping for good news! I spent 4 long days in the hospital, longer than I spent for my pregnancy and much more painful. This was by far, the most painful thing I have ever experienced. But the good news is I'm doing well now and not really in pain anymore. It's achy and still swollen, and I have 5 incision scars all over my leg (the longest is 5 inches long), and I still can't put too much pressure on it, but I'm doing well, and improving each day. Oh and no cast either! Apparently the rod in there is stronger than a cast, so I didn't need one! I am in a big black walking boot, which I love, because I can crutch and walk a little on my foot at the same time. The boot is nice and supportive too. I feel weird when I don't have it on.
So my comeback to derby will be sometime in March or April. Doc said I can return to skating in February so I will just take it easy and see how I feel. I am definitely missing the first game, most likely the second too, but I will just play it by ear.

I am the 2nd of 3 leg injuries that occured all within 2 weeks of each other, creepy. One girl broke her ankle and lower tib, the other broke 3 bones in her ankle. Both of them have a long recovery time. My injury looked the worst out of all of them but I seem to have the shortest recovery! I do believe my attitude has a lot to do with it. Positive thinking goes a long way. I was even told that a couple girls on the Royal Pains were talking about how they admired my attitude. Awesome!

This doesn't mean I don't have any rants.. oh believe me I have several. I shall close this posting with my list of things that suck about breaking your leg:

1) Having to sit down in the shower. On a lawn chair. Yeah it sucks as bad as it sounds.
2) Not being able to be the primary caregiver anymore for my son. He cries for daddy now when he walks away, but not mommy. Talk about the worst demotion ever. :(
3) Hobbling around on one leg. It sucks. It's tiring. It hurts your arms and your good leg. It's not fun.
4) People staring at me wherever I go. Usually I just look down, since I need to anyways so I don't trip!
5) STAIRS!! Those evil, god damn f*cking stairs!
6) Winter time. Winter time = snow = slick= slip.
7) Not being able to skate. Watching everyone at practice zoom around.. it's heart breaking.
8) Not being able to drive. I probably could, but I can't get on the bus at work, and I can't drop off River at daycare.
9) A permanent metal leg. The docs aren't taking it out. It is now mine, forever. Or is that a good thing to be half a robot? :)

Busy, Busy, Busy

Wow I haven't written in almost a year. I doubt anyone is eagerly hanging off their seats waiting for me to post anything, so I'm sure I'm in the clear.

Busy, busy, busy to say the least and a lot has been happening. I lost my etsy store dvrdown around March I think, a month or two after River was born. Permanent suspension is the correct term. Etsy took down my entire shop and wouldn't put it back up due to multiple warnings I received from posting items that weren't up to par with their standards. Either the item violated terms of service, my tags were wrong, or I just didn't do something right. I always corrected the problem when they told me about it, but I guess I did it too many times and they got fed up with me and I got suspended, with a note saying I can't open up another shop. They might as well have slapped me or kicked me directly in the ass. I was so upset I actually cried over this for a few days, then I got the bright idea to remake another shop anyways. Well all was fine until a few weeks ago, when they found me and my shop was suspended yet again. This time I have decided to just leave it alone and move on. Their loss really, because they were making money off me too. But I'm still pretty pissed about it and I do believe I have been treated unfairly. I mean it wasn't like I was stealing money from my customers or receiving any negative feedback or anything.. I was good to my customers and will always be fair and honest with them. Etsy can kiss my ass though. I am done with them and this whole situation has actually motivated me to work on my own business and webstore, so thanks Regretsy for allowing me to pursue my lifelong dream! I don't need anybody telling me what I can and can't post anymore. Kevin is helping me create my webstore and we are going to apply for a business license here shortly.. yay! Good things always seem to come out of crappy situations.. well for the most part anyways. :) I'll keep you posted on my website and when that will come about. For right now I'm enjoying my hiatus away from selling and constantly going to the post office 3 days a week. Yuck, I do not miss that.

River is 8 months old now. It's crazy how time has flown by. Everyone says is goes quickly but you never realize how fast it really goes until you experience it for yourself. He is great, and I love being a mom. He's such a happy baby and well behaved. Everyone always asks us if he's always that calm, and I love telling them YES! I would hate to see a colicky, fussy baby. Good thing I won't because this is my last child haha. We are extremely lucky we have a low-maintenance child. He is high energy though and always looking around and exploring and putting things in his mouth. Everything goes in his mouth.. the other day he was sucking on the shopping cart handle and I almost threw up lol. No wonder he's sick all the time!!! He's always on the move, too. Diaper changes are almost impossible with him, he loves to flip over on his knees every time and have his bare butt hanging in the air. He is crawling everywhere now and just learned how to pull himself up. We think he is going to be walking here pretty soon.. within the next couple of months!

I joined Dead Girl Derby of KC. Basically it's like goth chicks on roller skates. I am not officially a Dead Girl yet, but I will know in about 3 weeks if I have made one of the teams or not. In order to be drafted to a team, and there are 4, we need to pass a written test and a skills test. If we don't pass, we stay in the "horde" until we are able to do our skills. The skills we get tested on are stuff like falling, stopping, endurance, speed, etc. From what it looks like I will make the team, but I don't want to toot my own horn yet. I'm decent at skating but I have a lot of work to do. Baseball slides and getting up quick w/o using my hands are my weak spots right now.. but I'll get it. It's a lot of fun, I love derby and everybody is just so awesome. Last practice we just started making contact and hitting, which was a lot of fun. I can't wait to send somebody flying on their ass hehe. We have already had a few injuries (broken arm, torn ligament, etc) and drop outs so the risk of getting hurt is pretty high, but you can't be afraid of that. That's one of the things you gotta get over quick, because if you're tense and afraid of falling you're gonna get hurt. I think snowboarding put me a little more at ease with that. You fall so many times when you're snowboarding haha. Soooo many times. And it hurts every single damn time because you're not wearing any pads. To me, pummeling down a mountain at breakneck speed without protective gear, in the dark (since I mostly snowboard at night) is WAYYYYY more scary than falling on a rink! A lot of these girls have never done sports that involve falls so you see them hesitate a little when they skate. You can't hesitate in roller derby.. you just go full speed ahead and hope for the best hehe. It's a fun sport, I love it. It's also a great workout. I'm always drenched in sweat and sore after each practice, but my legs are getting strong. It also feels great to exercise again. I always feel so happy after practice.

Anyways that's about it for now, I'll write more when I can. <3

It's a BOY!!!!

ahh I keep meaning to write, but I've been so busy lately with work & everything else! I even wrote down to "blog" in my planner about 3 weeks ago. :(. Sorry I left everyone hanging but I think I assumed everyone knew any ways.. and they probably do.. that we are having a BOY. YAY!!! 29 weeks today, I have 11 weeks or less left until birth. This is crazy how fast this has gone. I'm still not that big either. I get comments such as "you're pregnant?" or "bitch, I was huge when I was pregnant" or "you look great." If I wear a hoodie you can't even really tell I'm expecting a baby at all. And the weird thing is, I think River is going to be a big baby. Between taking my DHA pills (more on this later), my height, and the sono tech comments about his femurs being huge, it's kind of inevitable. :) And I think my small belly will be a thing of the past soon enough. I swear sometimes when I wake up, it seems like my bump grew 2 inches overnight!! It's a cute bump too.. perfectly round and smooth with no stretch marks. It looks kind of like a basketball. My belly button hasn't popped out yet either and I doubt it will. It still seems so weird to me looking down and seeing your belly button almost stretched out flat. It's still weird I'm pregnant!!!

I'm so excited about tomorrow and this Friday. My coworkers are throwing me a shower Thurs, which means River gets more presents.. yay!! I want him to have everything lol. And Friday, Kevin and I are going to Overland Park at http://johnsoncountyultrasound.com to get a 4D video of our little boy. They give you a dvd and a CD full of pictures, plus some keepsake 4x6 photos of the ultrasound that you can frame. It was an out of pocket expense since this is just for fun, but totally worth it. When you go in for normal ultrasounds all you get is about 4 pictures printed up on thin paper, that eventually fade over time. This way we can have something to keep forever. Also, I'm not due for any more ultrasounds (3d ones anyways) so this is the last chance we get to see the baby before he's born. :)

I'm really glad I'm having another shower. The shower my sister threw us back in September was REALLY nice, and she totally went all out, but unfortunately a few people didn't. I had four people (2 friends, 2 family members) arrive and stay but didn't give River a gift at all. Who does that? who goes to a shower and doesn't bring a gift? Not to mention when said family member was prego, we bought her a $200 car seat and stroller..but anyways. It just really, really upset me. I also had another friend stay for about 10 minutes and then dart out the door because she wasn't comfortable being there. Really? and a few others that said they would come and never showed up without calling. Californians, and I say this all the time and I will say it again, SUCK! People just don't act like that here and thank god they don't. So it was a somewhat small shower, and River still needs a bunch of things, which is fine.. I mean we can afford it, but I kind of feel like we got shafted and glad I'm having another shower at work tomorrow. Does that sound greedy.. probably. I just want our baby to have everything because I love him SO MUCH and just want him to be comfortable and happy. That's all I care about. Forgive me god for sounding like a greedy biatch. Having a baby is very expensive though and a huge financial bourdon (that is totally worth it) and having showers helps out a LOT with that and easing some of the pressure off. I just wish some people would understand that more.

Well it's official, I'm no longer a Kinard. I got my social security changed a few weeks ago.. still working on other things but I think I have most of it done. Changing your name is a huge pain in the a$$ but I still think moving is worse. And marriage is pretty cool.. I like being a wife!! Whoever said the first year is the hardest is full of crap because neither of us feel that way. In fact, I feel exactly the same as before we got married.. just maybe a bit happier. Being a mom is going to be even more awesome. I can't wait!!!!

Oh yeah I mentioned the DHA. I signed up to be in a research study for KUMED taking DHA pills (Docosahexaenoic acid), which is an omega-3 fatty acid. The study is looking at the effects it has on the baby, while in the womb and when its born. Supposedly taking DHA while pregnant is great for the baby and suppose to help improve brain function. It has no harmful side affects, and you get paid for your time so I figured why not? I'm going to use the money to buy River a car seat/stroller combo. The study isn't that intrusive either. I have to take 3 pills a day and go to 4 appointments where they examine/listen to River moving around via 2d ultrasound and this big machine that I have to press my belly against for 45 min. yes, 45 min. I must have dozed off last time I did it because it was over before I knew it. So its not that bad. Plus I get to see the baby more, which is awesome, even if it is 2d and not that clear of a picture. I love being able to see him on the monitor moving and squirming around. It always makes me smile!!

I did something weird last Saturday - I went to a day spa in Overland Park to get my ears "candled".. aka "ear candling." Ear candling is an alternative medicine practice of inserting a hollow candle in the ear canal and lighting the other end, suppposedly to remove earwax & promote well-being. I read about it and was curious so I just went ahead and made an appointment. :) It was very relaxing but I don't know if I would ever do it again... nor do I even know if it's a credible procedure or not!! What they do is lay you on your side and light this candle for about 15 minutes and leave it in your ear. The "vacuum" that it creates is suppose to draw up debris, fungus, & earwax. At the end of the procedure the lady showed me the earwax buildup in the end of the candle, but I think that was just candle wax. What was odd though was there were some flaky ridges pointing upwards, which she pointed out as earwax. Candle wax can't build up going the other way, can it? Or maybe the smoke does that? I don't know. My ears feel somewhat less clogged though.. but then again, that could be my subconscious talking. Would I recommend it.. probably, just to experience something new. :) And for the relaxation benefits. Feeling a warm candle in my ear was nice, and laying on the nice spa bed was great too with the lights turned down low. And I loved hearing the crackling of the candle.. reminded me of sitting next to a cozy fire. I almost fell asleep!

I need to post more Etsy finds soon. I have been so busy with my own store that I just haven't had the time to blog (I know, you've already heard this before). I'm really trying to push more items up for sale. Right now I'm at 359 items, and my goal for this year is to get to 400. I've had a pretty good sales record so far with October being my best month. I hope Christmas shoppers will make Nov and Dec even better! I need baby money!

Well I guess that's it for now. My long-winded blog has come to a close. Hopefully I will write again before the baby is born so I can keep you updated with his status. He's healthy and his numbers have been normal clear across the board. Approx weight about 3 lbs, length 14", heartbeat 150 bpm and strong. Kicking every day with an occasional punch to the ribs. Definitely a mover and a shaker.. the sono techs sometimes have trouble following him around because he just does not stay still. And, he knows daddy's voice and becomes very active whenever Kevin comes home. It's so adorable. I love you River Ashton Bennett. You have made mommy and daddy so happy. :)

11 More Days!!!!!

**11 more days until we will find out the sex of the baby, on August 30th. I am sooo excited, anxious, nervous, etc!! I've been waiting for this day ever since I found out I was pregnant!!! ahhH!! I hope it's a boy!! I keep saying "he" when I talk about River, like I just already know deep down it's a boy. I feel like it is, but I guess I'll just have to wait and see. Sigh.. all this waiting around is KILLING ME!!

Week 18! No more morning sickness, so what they say about the 2nd trimester and how you magically start to feel better is true. I am still pretty tired all the time though, and I get headaches/aches & pains in various places. Also, River likes to stretch out against my rib cage so sometimes I feel like I can't even breathe lol. Yesterday it was really bad. I kept trying to push him over a little but it wasn't working. I hope that wasn't his head I was pushing on - lol! Oh and my growing breasts holy sh*t! I don't even recognize them anymore, they are Huuggge!! I need to get a body pillow to sleep on at night just to take some pressure off these suckers - they bother me more than my belly does! :P

In other news, we bought a new 2010 Jeep Liberty! Olathe Dodge was having a steal of a deal that weekend and we jumped on it. Fully loaded out the door was 21k.. that is 4k cheaper than what I paid for my Wrangler 8 YEARS AGO! I couldn't believe it. It rides so smooth too. I'm not used to feeling so relaxed while driving!! It will be a great family car for the baby. Kevin really likes it too. He said he's going to put a soccer ball sticker on the back window. haha.

This weekend we are going to the cabin and then Sunday we are going to the state fair in Sedalia. I can't wait because I'm seriously craving a fried twinkie!! I also just need to get away from things for a bit. Our cabin doesn't have tv and you can barely log onto the internet, so all there is to do is listen to birds chirp and read - which is perfectly fine with me! Kevin likes to read too, so we just sit on the porch together and chill. It's nice to have someplace quiet to go to and relax.

Oh yeah and then vacation in 2 weeks!! WOOT!! We are going to CA to see family and then Vegas to get married. Oh yeah - I'm engaged! haha! I forgot to mention that in my last post - oooops. Our vacation is going to be so fun. My sis and mom are throwing Kevin and I a baby shower. :) My sister went ALL OUT on this shower and bought fancy cupcakes from Hollywood and something like 8 games and a red velvet cake, and custom gift bags and prizes.. not to mention tons of gifts she bought for the baby.. she has totally spoiled us omg. We are going to get her something nice for doing all this for us. :) And woot Vegas baby! I can't wait for that either. We are going to do the themed wedding at Excalibur and dress up like a Prince and Princess haha. My sis, mom, and my sister's boyfriend are dressing up too. I'm going to try and find crowns for Kevin and I to wear and I'm going to wear mine all week - even after the wedding. It will be a lot of fun!

My life has been such a journey, and the path I have taken to reach this point in my life has been amazing. I am so thankful for a lot of things and for the choices I have made. I have never been happier. I have found my soul mate and best friend, and I'm looking forward to becoming a wife and mother. Having a baby has only strengthened our bonds. We are both excited about our future and our lives together. We are no longer a couple, but a family, and it feels awesome!!!

As the belly grows..

Week 10 of pregnancy! Only 30 more weeks to go lol. Knowing my luck it will probably be much longer. The doctor even said she can tell by the way my cervix is positioned, I will be in labor for a long time. Oh great. :) But other than that crappy news I'm pretty excited! I was able to see the baby's heartbeat last week. Talk about a sigh of relief. All those stupid miscarriage stories people have been telling me lately have seriously scared the sh*t out of me, and I was worried our baby wasn't even alive. And who in their god-forsaken minds even tells a prego woman about miscarriages anyways?!? A LOT of people, actually! I have no idea why, but I know I would never say anything like that to someone, especially a first-time mom. People are just stupid sometimes.

I take that back about not having morning sickness - I did end up getting a little bit of it! No vomiting or anything like that but just very nauseated and dizzy. I even missed work one morning because I was so dizzy I was afraid to drive! Some days I still get kind of nauseous but it's no where near what it was a couple weeks ago. And I'm still very, very tired. I can (and have) slept all day.. it's like no amount of sleep is ever enough. :)

2 more weeks until my first ultrasound! I get to see the little one for the first time. I can't wait! Then, 8 weeks after that is when we get to see the sex of the baby. Exciting! I will of course post pictures. My belly still isn't showing much either other than a small poochie that you really can't see at all unless I pull my shirt up. I'm tall, so I doubt I will show much this early on. My mom is tall too and she said she didn't really start to show until 5 months!! My pants are starting to feel tighter though. I'm wondering if I will even have to wear much maternity clothes other than bigger pants.. I guess I'll find out later!

Our Cozumel trip might be canceled. We were supposed to go over Thanksgiving and we booked the trip before we found out I was pregnant. Well, expedia f*cked up our itinerary so now it's not even showing up in the system, and I've called them numerous times and they said it was because Delta changed our flight. Ok.. so why isn't our itinerary showing up. What I guess happened was Delta canceled the flights but didn't issue us new ones (great job Delta). So the expedia lady said she would call Delta and see what was going on.. 3 weeks later we still don't have a trip at all.. lol. Wtf? We're going to call them tonight and see if we can get a refund. We already put down half the trip money which was $1300. I'm just tired of calling them several times & they don't do anything, you know.. very aggravating. Also Kevin & I discussed it, and we think me being 32 weeks pregnant when we go to Cozumel probably isn't the safest thing to do. Nor does my doctor think so, either. So maybe this is for the best that Expedia messed up our trip. We were thinking instead of Cozumel going to Vegas/California in September. That way Kevin can meet my sister and brother (he's already met my mom) and we can go party it up in Vegas one last time before the little one gets here. Which is fine. I don't really care where we go, because we can always go later somewhere else. We have tons of time.. and with the new addition to the family, it will be twice as much fun! I can't wait to take the baby camping, hiking, and showing him/her all of what life has to offer. It's going to be great. Kevin can't wait either. We are both very, very excited. :)

This is probably going to be our only child. I doubt I would want anymore and this is actually his second child, but we'll see. Nothing is set in stone.

I am shopping for a new (used) family car right now. I think I'm going to get a Jeep Cherokee because Wranglers have been reported as being a pain in the ass with carseats. I can only imagine and I don't even want to try lol. I'm looking at one right now that's about 8k... it has 4.0L and I-6 engine, same as mine, so it will haul the kid(s) around just fine. I need trunk space too in case they start to play sports or whatever. :) And will we keep my old Jeep.. I think so. It gets better gas mileage than Kevin's Jeep, so I think he's going to start driving mine to work. Plus I have a hard top and air conditioning - his Jeep is a soft top and NO AIR. It's a great summer fun Jeep, but not for daily driving!! So I'll just give it to him. What's mine is his now any ways. We both have that mentality, and I like it. We are already a married couple but just don't have it official yet.

I love this new life I have, and the new life growing inside me. Things are wonderful, and I'm very blessed.

We're Having a Baby!

On Tuesday, May 25th Kevin and I found out we are expecting!! I am about 7 weeks along and the due date is January 18th. So far it's been a smooth pregnancy. I haven't had any morning sickness yet, nor have I been moody, but I have been very, very tired. I also seem to crave things I don't eat normally, like salty foods (pickles mmM!). My belly is a little tiny bump right now. I can't wait for it to grow! Oh, and Kevin and I already picked out names, River Ashton for a boy or River Avery for a girl. I am hoping for a boy, but a girl would be just as awesome. Kevin just wants a healthy baby. He has been so cute about this, he keeps talking about building the baby a rocking horse, and building a playground outside, and getting a baby backpack so we can take it hiking. :) It's so damn adorable. And yesterday I woke up to his hand laying protectively on my belly. That is exactly why I love him. He is so great to me. And yes, we have been talking about marriage before the baby happened but it looks like the baby just wanted to come first haha. We will eventually get married. I'm in no rush and neither is he. It's just a label and tax benefits pretty much so whatever. I can't wait to have the ring on my finger though. He will be an awesome husband and daddy. :)

Business Ideas, Expansion, & New Adventures

On to other matters - I'm really thinking about scrapping jennleejewelry.etsy.com - taking everything down and selling my beads as supplies. I am not making any money anymore, and it's actually costing me more to put up my items for sale than it is to sell anything. Lol. But, the good news is my other store dvrdown.etsy.com is really taking off and I'm making steady sales - so that just means I will have more time/energy to focus on dvrdown!! YAY! And perhaps I can use my beads from Jennleejewelry to use for store items in dvrdown? I'll have to think. :) God that would be great.. I would have so much more room to store dvrdown stock/supplies. It's crazy how jennleejewelry takes up almost my entire desk space and makes the least amount of money. I've spent way more on jennlee too than I ever have with dvrdown. Haha oh the irony of it all. That is business for you, very very VERY unpredictable & risky, but a HELL of a lot of fun!!!

Expansion ideas: I'm thinking about expanding my dvrdown inventory to maybe t-shirts? Anyone have any thoughts, suggestions, or ideas for me on what I should add to my store? Any feedback would greatly be appreciated!!! :) If you think it, I can probably make it!