Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Saved Entry from June - Almost a 501 Member

So I never write anymore. Mainly, because I just don’t have time but lately I haven’t had much motivation either. I guess that’s why I’m the “Bad Motivator.” Our next game is on June 22nd – come out and watch me sit at a table hehe. I still love the sport and always will. I’ll probably stick around again for another season being an NSO. It’s hard to say goodbye to your other family, even if I have lost touch with quite a few of them. I’ve died down a lot in my party stage I was going through last year and don’t hang out much anymore. I guess I just needed to get it out of my system. Now I’m a boring mom taking care of a toddler who is going through the terrible two’s.. my life is FUN!! River is such a stubborn butthead sometimes.. he sure has a lot of his dad in him LOL just kidding, he has a lot of BOTH of us in him which is quite frightening, to say the least. He is really lives up to his name, River Monster.

Well I am almost a member of the 501st. A member from another garrison in South Dakota was selling his Tusken Raider costume, so I jumped on it and bought it. Guess how much that was… $500… lol.. everything seems to be $500 lately. I am ALMOST done with it, my bucket still needs some strips of cloth glued to the back to cover my neck but other than that I’m pretty much good to go. You can’t join unless your costume is approved, so the final step is taking pictures of yourself in your costume and sending them over to the approver or GML (Garrison member liaison). Once I get that done, I can go and troop with them at events. However, I did already get a chance to troop! May 5th was Star Wars day and the 501st had an event at Legoland, so I went. My friend Bill let me borrow his Tusken costume so I wore that all day. Hehe fun, but damn the visibility is literally like looking out of two small toilet paper tubes. No, not even that good because the tubes are covered with a mesh screening. I had to walk around with one eye closed because looking out of both eyes wasn’t working (the tubes were too far spaced apart) and I was soooo dizzy by the end of the day that I missed going to the bar that night. Hopefully my own mask won’t have that issue. I don’t think it will but then again I haven’t worn it for hours at a time either. We shall see!!! Being a Tusken is hard work. It’s very, very, hot under all those robes and cloth. The sweat was literally dripping down my face and legs, and making a few kids cry because I was scary was a little heartbreaking too. My plan for next time is a summer outfit I can wear that isn’t so hot and scary.. I want an Imperial Crewman outfit.. the men in black on Darth Vader’s ship. I still want a Royal Guard costume but that’s definitely going to be put on hold for a while. Why oh why do I have such expensive hobbies/interests.. because it’s fun, dammit!

Friday, April 19, 2013

Funny Feedback From Rebelscum.com

I buy a lot of Star Wars collectibles from Rebelscum.com forums, so I decided to make a feedback thread.  I figured it would be good to have one just in case I decide to start selling again some day.  I asked my recent sellers to post feedback for me and my friend left me this, which had me ROLLING:

(Jenni) was the first girl I completed a transaction with. They always say you never forget your first, haha. Great woman to talk star wars with. Very honest and reliable person to deal with. A+++.

I laughed so hard.  Why aren't there more female Star Wars collectors out there?  Is collecting toys mostly a guy thing or something?  :P  In a way it makes me proud to be a part of the rare breed of women, but still.. it's just interesting!!!

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Star Wars Collecting & the Bitches Who Hate us

So probably none of you out there knows I collect vintage Star Wars.  I have been a collector since I was 16 years old, then sold off my entire collection when I was in my early 20's *cries* and just now starting to rebuild my collection again, at 33 years old. It's been a very expensive, long, and grueling process lol.  I find that I am losing track of what I have and don't have, because of what I owned previously.  So I get surprised when I dig through my Star Wars boxes and discover I don't have something.  I really don't have that much, not quite what I used to have anyways, but hopefully I'll get up there again.  My husband has been very encouraging and supportive of my hobby throughout this whole thing, and I can't love him enough for that.  He wants me to get a display case soon but I argue that I just want more Star Wars figures haha.  He told me, "I want to at least LOOK at all the stuff you're spending all our money on, instead of stashing them away in the closet!"  But he's still supportive of me, and I love him for that.

And then there's people that aren't very supportive, such as this girl I met through a friend of a friend who is selling off her ex-husband's Star Wars collection.  I asked her why she was selling and she told me he didn't even know she had them, that Star Wars "ruined her marriage", and that she wants to rip open a couple of the vintage MOC figures to "get back at him."  Wow.  When I first learned that she pretty much stole his collection, a really bad feeling formed in the pit of my stomach.  But, she gave me this sad story about needing money badly and alimony, so I figured I would try to help her out and buy a couple pieces.

She had about 30 random items, mostly new, and nothing too crazy valuable, but she thought she was sitting on a goldmine.  I chose 5 items out of the lot and offered her a solid $50 for them, which I thought was very fair.  She, however, thought I lowballed her and got upset with me, arguing that the vintage MOC Klaatu I was looking at was worth a whole lot more.  So I pulled up some eBay links for her to look at as proof that I wasn't trying to rip her off any.  Afterwards she countered with $65 but I declined.  I could sense at this point that she was a hothead, and I didn't want to do business with her.

Then, a couple of minutes later, she posted this as her facebook status:
"Im starting to remember why this star wars collection used to piss me off so much all this money wasted on little kid crap so glad im with a grownup now."

Yeah, something like this.

Talk about the worst indirect insult ever to a Star Wars collector.  It took me everything I had not to comment, but I literally had fire breathing out of both nostrils.  I posted this whole story in one of my Facebook Star Wars groups and they brought up the fact that she can go to jail for stealing her ex's stuff, and that I can get in trouble for buying any of his items. That thought never even occured to me, so I'm glad that our "deal" never worked out, but still.  I felt really guilty for even making an offer on her stuff because it was from a beloved collection such as mine.  How would I feel if someone stole my Star Wars collection and sold them off, you know?  I would be completely crushed and torn.  I guess I just wasn't thinking and should have followed my gut instinct from the get-go.  When you get a bad feeling about something, you should definitely listen.  Lesson learned for yesterday.

And you know, it's people like that who aren't supportive of their significant other's hobbies/collecting that really pisses me off.  I mean REALLY pisses me off.  You should always stand by your spouse regardless.  If you don't like their hobbies that make THEM happy, then too bad.  It's not all about you here.  It's about happiness and being glad that the other person has something to make them smile.  You are so selfish to be angry about another person's hobbies!!!! SELFISH.

I'm glad you're so grownup now to steal and lie and try to get money for "little kid crap" that isn't even yours.. how grownup is that.  My SW group pointed out that her ex-husband is lucky he escaped her, and I couldn't agree more. 

I hope she does sell that Star Wars stuff and gets caught.  I hope she rots for awhile in jail, too.  She deserves all that she gives. 

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Tired of Everything Right Now - 2/19/13 Saved Entry

Tired doesn’t even begin to describe how I’ve been feeling lately. I feel completely run over with a huge 18-wheeler about 20 times, back and forth. I feel like.. people have been treating me like crap lately.  By a lot of different people. This might be all in my head, but lately it has made me super depressed. I have slumped back into what I call one of “episodes” where I get really, really depressed. And it seems whenever I’m like this, no one is around is help me back up. This is why depression sucks, you push away the people you care about and then no one is around when you really need them. I guess this is when I need to be strong and find my own inner strength to get through this on my own.

I think sometimes I’m just too sensitive for my own good. That I care too much, and that is what makes these demons appear and engulf me. I have my parents and upbringing to thank for that, us Kinards are all sensitive people. I need to practice just letting go, sitting back, and not giving a damn anymore. Maybe it’s time I focus on me for once and my life and getting back on track. I wish I can go on vacation by myself for a week and do absolutely NOTHING.. no kid to worry about, no husband, no friends, just ME. That may just be what I need to do, is take a trip. I need to get the fuck out of here for a while and Kansas City, it’s driving me bat shit crazy. That and being a mom and wife is very stressful too. Everything is just piling up! I am carrying way too much on my back.. the only weight that should ever be on my back is a scuba tank, you know? Not stress. Stress no good for Jenni, no no no.

My friend is in the 501st Legion, it’s a Star Wars costume organization that dresses up and goes out and “troops” for kids in the hospital and other places, mostly for kids. I have been planning on joining for a year now, but the only problem I *was* having was $$. It’s very expensive to join because you have to piece together your own costume – which for what I want, an Emperor's Royal Guard, is around $500. HOWEVER. Kevin just bought a 3D printer which was beaucoup bucks, so you know what? Screw it, I’m going to join, and I’m going to join NOW. I need to get out of the house more and involved with something that I will love doing, other than derby. Derby is fun and all, but it’s only once a month where I’m doing stats (yes I decided to stay and do scorekeeping). I love doing stats, but once a month is probably not going to cut it for me. And Kevin and I bowl every week on a league but even that is losing it’s fun factor. I’m a pretty shitty bowler now. I used to be pretty good back in the day, but apparently if you don’t use it, you lose it. Last week I had my best game ever since returning to bowling – 170 – and then the next game I had a 102. Lol. WTF?! So yeah.. I think I need to join the 501st pretty soon. At least I’ll be around people who share my same geeky interests. I feel very at home with derby peeps too, but again, once a month isn’t very much. And the people are nice at bowling, but I just need something else that doesn’t frustrate me. Last week I was taking it pretty hard and saying crap like, “I’m not good at anything” and I hate it when I get all negative like that, because it ends up being a self-fulfilling prophecy. I am now at the point in my life when if something or someone isn’t making me happy, I am going to take a couple steps back, and re-evaluate.  Ask myself, "is this improving my life or hindering it?"  If the answer is the latter, then there is no point wasting my time on something that makes me miserable. I am almost 34 years old, I don’t have time anymore to live my life in shadows.

That being said, today I am going to work on 1) fighting off this shitty depression, 2) having my middle finger at the ready for anyone or anything that is making my life more difficult, depressed, or unhappy, and 3) getting MY life back so that these things don't bother me anymore. Lord give me strength, I sure need it.

I almost forgot 4) dressing up like this guy.  No one messes with a Royal Guard, nobody.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Letters from the inside

I haven’t written in awhile… I need to stop doing that. Writing is therapeutic for me and believe me, I sure could use the therapy. It’s been a pretty crappy year family-wise. Lots of problems and issues. Today I’ll talk about Mike.

I’m holding a letter in my hands from my brother-in-law Mike, who is currently residing in Leavenworth Kansas penitentiary. When you get letters from inmates, the post office actually stamps on the outside of the letter “NOTICE: This correspondence was mailed from a correctional institution. Its contents are uncensored.” It gives you an eerie feeling right from the get-go, and you can’t help but wonder what our postal carrier is thinking when she puts these letters in our mailbox. Anyways, I have opened the letter with my fancy letter opener, but I haven’t taken it out of the envelope yet or read it. I hesitate, like my husband hesitates whenever we get mail from Mike. It’s not like we don’t care, but well, he’s done a very bad thing, and we are still struggling coming to terms with the entire situation. Kevin is especially having a difficult time with it, and he usually puts his brother’s letters aside and opens them when he is mentally capable of doing so. Mike’s last letter that was addressed to Kevin was especially rough.. I guess Kevin got “yelled at” for not being supportive and visiting him. I didn’t read it, but Kevin was pretty upset about it. When you sit in a cell all day long with nothing to do except think, think, and think some more, I guess it’s easy to hash out at someone. It doesn’t make it ok, though. We have visited Mike while he was still being held at the county jail, but that was before more evidence was introduced and he got transferred to the state pen. He’s currently awaiting trial, which is probably going to be at least another year from now. So he has a lot more time to think about what he’s done. I do believe Mike is in denial still, which is why he got mad at Kevin. To what degree he’s guilty we probably won’t ever know, but I think until Mike owns up to his crimes, Kevin will continue to struggle with communicating with his brother. Also, it’s a pretty serious charge involving children, and because we are both parents of a young toddler.. it has hit us both pretty hard. It would hit ANY parent hard. So Mike needs to understand that it will just take some time for us both to come around. We haven’t abandoned him though, and we never will. Family is family regardless.

I still have the unread letter with me right here. I will read it sometime today, and write back to Mike. He’s been sending us some drawings of River that he drew that are pretty good. I guess he discovered a hidden talent while he’s been in jail, and people have actually commissioned him to draw pictures for them. That’s pretty neat.

It sounds terrible, but I’m debating about sending him a real picture of River or not. I’m sure he would love to see his nephew whom he hasn’t seen since he got locked up in February.. but I’m still struggling with what he’s done, his illness, and his crimes.
Like I said, it’s been a really crappy year.

Friday, November 2, 2012

The 12 Golden Rules of Communication

I have had this posted up on my wall at work for the past 6 years and refer to it often: :)

1.  We are taught to talk, not to communicate
2.  All communication is in loop; when we change, others change
3.  Know your outcome, know theirs and dovetail the two
4.  Non-verbal communication is 80-95% of everything we communicate
5.  Have an intention of communicating well and put your attention totally on the other person
6.  Always imagine others wearing a banner on their foreheads that says, "make me feel special"
7.  Be congruent when you speak - make sure what you are thinking matches what you are saying
8.  People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care
9.  Be an energy giver not an energy taker
10.  Be trustworthy and honest
11.  Be aware of feelings and listen with your eyes for their feelings
12.  Ask yourself, "what does this person want from me?"

I am a communications major, so I have always loved this stuff. :)

Monday, September 24, 2012

Nebraska Furniture Mart & Williamsburg, VA

Ugh how I love and hate Nebraska Furniture Mart at the same time!! Kevin and I went there on Saturday and dropped another 3k on furniture, but at least now the game room is furnished. We bought a sleeper couch, entertainment center, end table, and a 55" tv that will go downstairs in the basement. We are going to move the 37" we have now into the game room. And of course, we still need tons of crap for the house but we have to wait until next year to buy anything. I think our NFM bill is at 6k, on top of River's medical bills which is another 6k we owe = yay debt!! My friend said that is the "American Way" to spend what you don't have.. I guess!! It sure doesn't feel too good though!! Once all this is paid off I think I can relax a little bit more, but then I'm sure we'll be buying something else like a new car and be in debt again. With the way we commute, we probably might have to get a new car soon. Our "new" Jeep Liberty we bought 2 years ago already has over 50k miles and needs new tires lol!! We drive over 90 miles a day, and it sucks, but River's daycare is worth going the extra distance. Our daycare provider is a good friend of ours from the Jeep club, and she is great with the kids and reasonably priced. She was also one of my teammates on the Deadly Sirens. :D Haha funny story about that - I dropped River off one morning and just randomly tell her I was thinking about trying out for Dead Girl Derby, and that I just sent out an email to recruitment that morning. She said, "really, I was thinking about trying out too and I just emailed them this morning!" Hahaha!! And here we end up on the same team and we both broke something (my leg - her ankle)!! Crazy world. :P

Kevin and I are leaving for Williamsburg, Virginia on Thursday... and River is going with us. We weren't originally planning on taking him, but grandma and grandpa are in California visiting relatives right now and can't watch him. I suggested we leave him with somebody else (anybody) but Kevin wants to take him, and he thinks he will be ok on the plane. I definitely do NOT think he will be and I know we will probably have to end up drugging him with Benadryl so he sleeps the entire way. There is no way in hell our child can/will sit still for that long. And it's not like I don't have hope for him, I just know River. lol. And I'm also worried about his ears hurting and not being able to sleep. We are going to be so popular on that airplane! Lord have mercy on everyone's souls. I always hated it being on a plane and getting stuck anywhere in close proximity to a baby, and now it's my turn to be THAT asshole. lol. Maybe I should take a swig of that Benadryl, too. When you become a parent, that definitely increases - the need to be intoxicated/drugged. At least from my experiences. I may just be an alcoholic.

Ugh. Well pray for us that everything goes well!! I am not a religious person, but I do accept prayers!! We are doing a random trip out there to use up our plane tickets from last year when we were supposed to go to CA, which of course I ruined when I broke my leg. I like to ruin things!! People ask us why we didn't just go to CA to visit my mom/sis and I reply back with, "because we didn't want to take River with us." lol. :/ wah wah wahhhhh... and then of course people ask me why we chose Virginia.  Out of anywhere in the US, we chose to go to VA. My response is and always will be, "why not?" :) Sometimes you just need to close your eyes, spin around, and wherever your finger lands on the map, there you be. :)