I had a falling out with one of my friends this past weekend and it hurts, but I had to cut ties for a while. Things were just getting too intense for me. I hope this person will understand why I did what I did, and that eventually I’ll come around. I always do. I just need space when I am angry or upset, otherwise, I will spew so many hateful things out of my mouth and not think with my head. This is also the way I cope with things. It’s not running away, but more of like a hibernation so I can think things out and relax. I really hate fighting. I really hate feeling angry, too. Life is way too short to be anything but happy, but taking time to myself is a must have if I want to repair this friendship. I think this person needs some time to themselves, too. Hopefully this break will help both of us.
I have been spending a lot of time at work lately doing very mundane tasks, such as making these badge buddies. They take a long time to make – I have to print, cut, glue, laminate, and punch each one, and there are probably about 400 of them total that I need to do. This stack isn’t even all of them. I have no idea why, but doing work like this when I’m upset is very therapeutic to me. Probably because of all my years working in assembly, and how much I love working with my hands. It’s just comforting. Most would be like omg that looks like a hellish nightmare, and it is, but right now when I’m feeling this way, it’s awesome. I have been putting all my energy into it too. Yesterday I was going at it with the paper cutter, today, it’s me and the glue stick. Pop my ear buds in and just jam away into mindless bliss.
I am so glad to have my whole family back under one roof again. Being alone for too long really sucks. I’m an independent person and it still sucks sleeping in an empty bed. You really realize what you take for granted once things are gone.
River and I cuddled on the couch together the other night and watched Indiana Jones, the newest one with the Crystal Skull and the dude from Transformers Shia Labouef or whatever his name is. It’s not the best Indy, but he LOVED it and wants “the other 3.” I had the trilogy but it was stolen from our cabin a few years ago. I went ahead and bought a used copy of the trilogy on ebay for $16 and told River it will be a few days. It makes me smile how much he loves the same movies I do. Well – other than horror, he hates scary movies but maybe someday. ;)
I ordered 5 more sets of scrubs. Business casual is now a thing of rarity for me, and I currently own more scrub pants than work pants. If I ever leave the hospital, I’m going to try to get back into a medical setting because scrubs are amazing and make me happy.
Facebook sucks sometimes. I am trying to practice the art of just scrolling on by when I read something I don’t like, but it can be difficult at times to keep my mouth shut. I also lost 3 “friends” within the course of hours due to their prejudice ways and beliefs. I guess it’s an easy friend clean-up?? Then I made the mistake of confronting one of them. He proceeded to whip out the name calling, calling me a drunk and that he didn't want to be my friend anymore. I will have to be honest with you, that cut deep and hurt me. But I know in my heart that it’s not true, and that’s exactly what he was trying to do was hurt me. I also know this guy from high school, and most of his status updates were about him being miserable, hating his life/wife, and even complaining about his kid. So I guess before you say something mean to me, take a look in the mirror because you sure as hell aren't perfect either or have a perfect life. Asshole.
Honestly I can’t stand all this negativity and hatred lately. Occasionally I take Facebook breaks.. I’m thinking it may be about that time for another. It’s starting to affect my well-being and attitude. This political season isn’t helping things either with the twats running for office. Thank the maker whoever made anti-anxiety meds, I have been popping them like tic tacs lately.
Star Wars land was another mess today too, I found out that a known collector in the community has been stealing other members designs, and another guy in my group got offended when a “woman” posted a picture of a Boba Fett laying across some breasts, asking for a trade. I thought it was hilarious and was crying laughing reading all the comments, but he said he was insulted. I told him it was a joke, but he got mad and left the group. I pulled the post soon after. If one person is offended, that’s enough for me. I mean I get it, I’ve been offended at things before too. But it was a harmless post, and we were all laughing and praising the boobies. There was nothing sinister there at all, at least in my eyes anyways. I knew who was behind the fake profile too.. it was more of a pun against some of the “women” in the group asking for things and the men climbing over their dicks trying to help them. I felt it was a good public service announcement!! ( . Y . ) Boobs.. gets you in trouble every damn time. ;)